WE OVER ME: Personal Record Success Beats Comparison
When my daughter played high school basketball, I remember one of their team slogans was “we over me.” Her team ended up winning the state championship that year, and I remember how this mantra guided their season. The philosophy behind the slogan focused on the process of playing as a team rather than on individual statistics and skills. When you look at creating a healthy team, your skills need to be focused on executing fluid plays, noticing and understanding the objectives of teammates, and leading decisions in alignment with the overall mission of the organization. This is a big change from a mindset of “stay in your lane,” which encourages entitlement and outcomes aligned with an individual's agenda. This separateness often leads to self-concern, creating delays and obstacles for others. True collaboration is a rhythm created by individuals and teams in a healthy corporate culture that provides better direction and purpose to vision.
This “we over me” mantra does not mean taking a back seat. It means leadership directed by seeing big-picture thinking, with employees striving to be the best they can be. Too often, striving is mistaken for outperforming someone else, leading to comparison and competition. You are not the best version of you when you compare yourself to others. When you are focused on beating your own personal record, comparing yourself against your last performance, it promotes motivation that leads to personal growth. Personal-record striving creates a thriving company.
Our world is skilled at pointing out who is best at their craft, who is the most beautiful, the most athletic, the wealthiest, or who won the most recent award. Don’t get me wrong: I am not in favor of the “participation ribbon” method. Life is about achieving. It is when you are in comparison to someone else’s journey that you end up losing. Whether personal or professional, the process is not about anyone else’s but your own. When you compare your appearance, possessions, job, family (or anything else) to another’s, this sabotages motivation.
Take the time to think about your goals for thriving in change. Those goals are about your vision, your action plans and your skills to execute those plans. If your goals are connected to the vision of your larger system, you will evolve with your organization. They are not about the accomplishments of others or who gets the promotion first. Consistent action plans that accompany your vision lead the way. Catch yourself in moments where you are burdened with comparison. Teaching yourself to notice this negative mindset and to pivot back to the focus on your goal is a key area to your personal success.
Winning any race is not easy. If you expect it to be easy, you are unrealistic. When you expect hills and valleys, seeing those as the best parts of the race, you challenge yourself to beat your last time, push yourself with tenacious energy and take the time to notice others running their races next to you in a way that encourages rather than competes with them.
Most of us are quick to need validation and are often resistant to feedback. But critical feedback is how you determine your next goal in a series of many goals that accomplishes vision. If you are secure enough to hear that negative feedback, you will eventually stop caring what others think and will be able to keep your focus on your contribution to the big picture.
I hear many people justify a negative mindset by saying, “I am just very competitive!” Can you authentically push yourself to be the best that you can be while, at the same time, be focused on skilled team functioning? Absolutely! Your intention, your energy and your insight about what and why you do what you do is essential. Being competitive to be competitive is self-concerning. Beating your own personal record (regardless of the type of goal) in a team-oriented mindset brings true influence. Team is about process. It’s about learning to pivot. It’s about seeing others as a part of the solution instead of you carrying the burden of the outcome. This mindset is helpful in family, business, and community living.
Let’s strive to be better at this. Securely notice those around you and encourage their wins while striving to accomplish your goals. Collaboration is more rewarding in the end. You can wear the medal around your neck with or without others around you. If you truly see others without judging who is better or worse, you build authentic connections along the way. When you look back on your journey, you may forget how many wins you had. But I am certain that you will not forget the people who ran next to you along the way.