Curiosity and the Three Ps: Keys to Effective Leadership
When I was a little girl, I absolutely loved Curious George. This orphaned monkey’s curiosity led to many adventures. He learned numerous lessons from his caretaker, the Man in the Yellow Hat, who also rescued him from precarious situations. The Curious George books highlighted concepts of exploration, forgiveness and learning.
Although living the empty nest lifestyle, I often reflect on my parenting of the past when my girls were young. I am certain that on several occasions I squashed curiosity for the sake of compliant behavior. As leaders we unintentionally do this very thing. We often like employees that listen, follow rules and are easy to manage. But are those employees the ones that teach us the most? We like people who think like us, do what we tell them to do and make things easy for us. As a clinician, I get to see the beautiful side of curiosity — empathy, connection and new perspectives. Until you explore the perspectives of others, you are left with your own bias and judgment about how others should do things better.
I recall from my youth hearing teachers comment that “curiosity killed the cat,” guarding against being curious. Curiosity in itself is not dangerous. Only in extreme cases do we need to worry about curiosity when it is led by impulsivity. Actually, from a leadership perspective, it is an absolute necessity. If we resist the questions of others and fail to see how motivational questioning brings empathy and connection, we lead by our expertise and fail to empower and learn from those we teach.
Curiosity is a biological function and necessary part of our cognition that leads to learning and innovation. It’s a motivator that influences social and emotional development, helpful in problem-solving and creativity. It involves using probing questions, getting to the whys of understanding different ways to approach problems.
The APA Dictionary of Psychology defines it as the impulse or desire to investigate, observe or gather information, particularly when the material is novel or interesting. When we find the differences in people interesting, we begin to expand our connections and move further away from our ego, which inhibits our emotional intelligence.
In a world where judgment is high and people are “canceled” for making mistakes, taking a learning perspective is key. Shaming results in defensiveness, excuse-making and blame stories. Curiosity does the opposite. It promotes peace, creating opportunities to break down our bias or at the very least understand a new view.
Brené Brown in her research shares that curiosity is “an irreducible component of courageous leadership.” This is necessary for making meaning from our thoughts and language, which affect how we connect with others.
Can we enter this new year with a mission to see people and their challenges in a more generous way? This would involve accepting everyone regardless of their differences, shifting from judgment to honor. Instead of sharing the misfortunes of others, spreading negativity like a virus, we can be a vault for others listening and supporting their need for change, which only they can do.
I heard in a recent leadership talk a useful tool for curious leadership: the three Ps. They are:
Plot
Playback
Plan
When deciding to be curious, it is important to first examine the plot (or story) that you have in your mind, recognizing that it is your perception of the truth, not the actual truth. Your story can be helpful or harmful to the relationship you have with the person you are leading. Next, ask questions to understand the person’s situation fully. Fight the urge to listen to respond as this leads to blaming and fighting to be right. After listening, empathically play back what you heard, making sure that you understand the needs and challenges of that person. Finally, provide emotional support, asking to help with problem-solving for progress. This is empowering others to find their next step forward based on their values and big-picture plan.
As you begin your new year, start 2022 with a growth mindset. Practice the Ps of curiosity, making a true impact on those you lead. The power of your leadership is not in what you know but in how you treat others. Choose to begin this year in the right direction!