Leaning Into Transition: Confronting Your Habit of Resistance
One of my favorite books is Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art: Winning the Inner Creative Battle because it highlights the human phenomenon of internal resistance. Pressfield defines resistance as a pattern of self-sabotage. Fear is at the core of the insecurities that drive our self-doubt, preventing us from achieving our personal and professional goals.
Many say that they like and seek change, but when transitions occur, avoid and overthink the process. Resistance shows its color in our internal justification stories about the negative sides to change. Our narratives then nurture avoidance, shutting down emotion or escalating defensiveness internally and with others.
We make excuses for the reasons we lack consistent self-care. We fall off track with nutrition or exercise goals after a stressful day. We justify why we are too tired to attend social events after work or why we spend endless time on the couch rather than being productive.
Our thoughts either help or hurt us. They can validate the discomfort that prevents our movement forward or they can push us to move through that discomfort, retraining ineffective habits.
Can you relate to the fear of losing control over all the spinning plates you are holding up? If you drop any of those plates, do you sabotage yourself by ruminating on the uncertainty of the future and questioning your capability? How do you change this pattern? Your self-talk is key to you noticing and working through the resistance that prevents your growth.
Here are some reflection questions you can ponder to change the internal dialogue that keeps you stuck. Let helpful dialogue guide you through the resistance:
“I notice that I have been feeling stressed with the uncertainty of this transition. It’s time for a reset.”
“Although it is normal to feel overwhelmed, I am capable of accomplishing my goal. My next step is: _________________.
“My transition anxiety shows me how important this goal is to me. I need to honor this, enjoying the transition rather than fearing it.”
“What is this change teaching me? How is it making me stronger?”
“What will this new chapter look like? I am going to visualize the change.”
“How can I handle this in my best self, aligned with my values?”
Nobody is perfect at managing difficult transitions or facing resistance fully. Your ability to achieve your goals is about awareness first and then pivoting toward intention. Once you’re aware of your habit of procrastination, you can train yourself to move forward, regulating the process by doing a little bit toward your goal each day.
Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop carrying the expectations of others. These unhealthy emotional habits slow you down, blocking productivity. Honor your intention, encouraging yourself with compassion and persistence by sticking to your timeline and reflecting each day on what you can do more of and less of to stay on track. Change that critic’s voice in your mind that highlights what could go wrong to focus on the gains of growth that develop from moving through the struggles of change.
Resistance is understandable. Choosing to reside there permanently is not! Let the struggles teach you to get comfortable with the uncomfortable, guiding you to let go of the fear underneath the resistance.
Lean into your resistance moments and just keep going!